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Joke Joke Joke Time

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Joke Joke Joke Time

Post  04 Miko Legaspi on Tue Dec 02, 2008 2:57 pm

Invented words


A radio station was running a competition - words that weren’t in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.

DJ: “96 FM here, what’s your name?”

Caller: “Hi, my name’s Rob.”

DJ: “Rob, what’s your word?”

Caller: “Goan… spelt G-O-A-N pronounced ‘go-an’.”

DJ: “You are correct, Rob, ‘goan’ is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?”

Caller: “Goan fuck yourself!”

The DJ cut the caller off and took other calls, all unsuccessful until:

DJ: “96 FM, what’s your name?”

Caller: “Hi, me name’s Jeff.”

DJ: “Jeff, what’s your word?”

Caller: “Smee, spelt S-M-E-E, pronounced ’smee’.”

DJ: “You are correct, Jeff, ’smee’ is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?”

Caller:
“Smee again! Goan fuck yourself!”

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Re: Joke Joke Joke Time

Post  ry_globa03 on Thu Dec 04, 2008 10:51 am

i dont think if this is new to you or not but I'm willing to share this joke.... nakakaiyak eh hehehe


Isang pinoy naka sagi ng kano

PINOY: "I'm sorry"

KANO: "I'm sorry too."

PINOY: Aba? " I'm sorry Three"

KANO: "What are you sorry for?"

PINOY: aba kala nito bubu ako ah? " I'm sorry five!"

KANO: "Are you SICK?"

PINOY: hahahahahha!!! Bubu " SIX kaya yun! tanga!!!

sabay alis ng pinoy......

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Hey, Bob! How Ya Doin?

Post  04 Miko Legaspi on Thu Dec 04, 2008 3:43 pm

Bob works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?'

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league.'

When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?'

'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.'

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says,

'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'

Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it . She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says,

'Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.'

BOB's funeral will be on Friday

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Q and A sa mga Gay Beuty Contest

Post  04 Miko Legaspi on Mon Dec 08, 2008 8:03 pm

Host: How can u help improve our economic status nowadays?

Contestant: Ahhmmm (Napanganga ang bakla)

Contestant: Mga VahkLLaaaa! Akala ko ba Ms. Gay ito! QUIZ BEE PALAAAA!!!

-----------------

Question: IF YOU WERE IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN, WHO WOULD YOU PUNISH? ADAM? EVE? OR THE SERPENT?

Answer: NONE OF THE ABOVE... I WOULD LIKE TO INFORM EVERYBODY THAT I AM CHINESE. I WOULD TEACH ADAM AND EVE NOT TO EAT THE FRUIT. INSTEAD SELL THE FRUIT AND EAT THE SERPENT.

---------------

Host : Hey, I heard you almost didn't make it, how did you get here? Did you ride or did you walk?

Gay Contestant : Of course, did you ride. What do you think of me, did you walk?

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Joke Joke Joke Time

Post  04 Miko Legaspi on Wed Dec 10, 2008 5:17 pm

IBANG POSISYON
:


Husband: Shall we try a different position tonight?
Wife: That's a good idea dear!... doon ka sa may plantsahan at ako naman ang uupo sa sofa at manoood ng tv.

PINOY INGENUITY?

A Filipino doctor has introduced the use of a device that enlarges a man's sex organ by up to 5 times with no side effects. It is called a magnifiying glass.

KRIMINAL:

KRIMINAL 1: "Pare, sigurado ka bang dito dadaan yung papatayin natin?"
KRIMINAL 2: "Oo, nagtataka nga ako, 1 oras na tayo dito, wala pa rin siya!
Sana naman walang nangyaring masama sa kanya...

SI GINO:

LOLO: Gino, paabot nga ng kape ko.
APO : Lo, Gina po.
LOLO: Gino, paabot nga ng kutchara.
APO : 'Lo, Gina po.
LOLO: Punyeta ka, Gino! Tigil-tigilan mo yang kabaklaan mo!

_________________
Kayang-kayang basta sama-sama

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Re: Joke Joke Joke Time

Post  tolentino_05 on Thu Dec 11, 2008 9:00 am

HArharhar!

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Re: Joke Joke Joke Time

Post  ry_globa03 on Thu Dec 11, 2008 5:49 pm

HAHAHAHHAHAHA nice one!!!!!

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Re: Joke Joke Joke Time

Post  ry_globa03 on Thu Dec 11, 2008 5:53 pm

First Time Sex

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner with her parents.
Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.

He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first t ime and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house
and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!'

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.'

The boy turns, and whispers back, 'And I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'

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Nyahaha, ako naman, mejo green

Post  04 Miko Legaspi on Fri Dec 12, 2008 9:23 am

LIIT NAMAN
:

Wife: Honey... bili mo naman ako ng bra...
Husband: Hon.. wag ka nang magbra...liit naman dede mo
Wife: E ba't ikaw, naka-brief!?

DOWNY:

GIRL: Ang puti naman ng bird mo...
BOY: Aba , syempre ah! Likas papaya ata gamit ko diyan!
GIRL: Ginagamitan mo rin ba ng Downy?
BOY: Baket? Bango ba?
GIRL: Lambot eh!!!

MADRE:

Dalawang madre nirereyp ng goons....
Madre 1: Jusko, patawarin mo po sila...hindi nila nalalaman ang kanilang ginagawa!
Madre 2: Ay, yung sa akin marunong!!!!

RAPE SUSPEK:

ATTY: Inday, pwede mo bang idiskrayb dito sa korte ang taong nangreyp sa 'yo?
INDAY: Maitim, panot, tagyawatin, pango ilong, at bungal...
SUSPEK: Sige!...mang- asar ka pa!!!!

_________________
Kayang-kayang basta sama-sama

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Re: Joke Joke Joke Time

Post  d_yanga03 on Sat Mar 21, 2009 2:06 am

Dok: Kaya may dugong lumalabas sa puwet mo eh dahil pumutok ang almoranas mo.
Bading: Naku! Akala ko pa naman po eh nakunan ako!

***
TUTPIK:
Kustomer: Ano ba naman itong tutpik nyo, iisa na nga lang, ang dali pang mabali!
Waiter (inis): Alam nyo, sir, ang dami nang gumamit nyan, pero kayo lang ang nakabali!

***
FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES:
Anak: Inay, totoo ba na "First love never dies"?
Nanay: Aba, oo. Tignan mo yang tatay mo, hanggan ngayon, buhay pa ang animal!

***
SUKO SA MISTER:
Mrs 1: Suko na ako sa mister ko, lagi na lang ako binubugbog bago niroromansa...
Mrs 2: Mas grabe yung mister ko. Binubugbog ako tapos si Inday ang niroromansa.

***
Harold: Ibe-break ko na ang syota kong mataba.
Archie: Bakit naman?
Harold: Hindi ko na kaya. Pag kinakain ko ang kiki niya, tumataas ang cholesterol ko!

***
Promdi: (nanginginig at humihingal) Ala eh… ngayon lang ako nakaiyot, dito pa sa Maynila, tapos, virgen pa ang dinadale ko?! Ang sikip!!!
GRO: Estofado! Este, estupido! Pwede ba, tanggalin mo muna ang panty ko

***
Misis: Honey, okey lang ba kung magpadagdag ako ng boobs?
Mister: Okey lang!
Misis: Talaga? Hindi ka magagalit?
Mister: Hindi. Pero… ‘di ba, masagwa kung tatlo ang dede mo?

***
T: Sino ang totoong ama ni Jollibee? Clue: Hindi si Aga!
S: Si ‘Samil’… as in SAMIL BEE (‘Sam Milby’)!!!

***
T: Anong English na ‘pusa’?
S: Cat.
T: ‘Yung pusang mabilis lumangoy sa dagat?
S: Super Cat!
T: ‘Yung pusa na kilala ng lahat?
S: Sicat!
T: ‘Yung pusang inuumaga sa plaza?
S: Buricat!

***
Marielle: Alam mo, agrabyado tayong mga babae pagyakap sa mga lalake?
Bianca: Bakit naman?
Marielle: Kasi, pagyakap, didikit ang dibdib natin sa kanila.
Bianca: Lumiyad ka!
Marielle: Didikit naman ‘yung ano nila!

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nyaah!

Post  ab_mortel06 on Sat Apr 04, 2009 11:24 am

may joke ako pero isang piraso lang (baka maubusan ng bala)

isang maganda at sexy na babae nag coconfess sa pari:

PARI: Iha, ano ang iyong ikukumpisal?

SEXY: Father, pag nakakarinig ako ng lalaking nagmumura di ko mapigilan sarili ko na yayain siya mag sex!!

PARI: Tangina, di nga??




yunlang po.. sorry sa nacornyhan. peace! jocolor

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Re: Joke Joke Joke Time

Post  daNiel ma' RopET's '03 on Sun Apr 26, 2009 9:23 am

hahahahahhahaha nakakatawa ng sobra wahahahahaha sakit ng tiyan ko wahahahaha

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Re: Joke Joke Joke Time

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