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JOKE TIME....pangpatanggal ng STRESS!

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JOKE TIME....pangpatanggal ng STRESS!

Post  thomasjay_06@yahoo.com on Mon Feb 16, 2009 5:42 am

1-10
Nanay: Bobo ka talaga! 1 to 10 lang di mo kayang bilangin?
Anak: Mas bobo si tatay nay, kasi narinig ko minsan sabi, 'tama na inday, hanggang tatlo lang kaya ko.'
Ano ang pagkain?
Mister: Ano ang pagkain natin?
Misis: Nasa mesa, bahala ka na pumili!
Mister: Isang pirasong tuyo? ano pagpipilian ko?
Misis: Pumili ka kung kakain ka o hindi!

Overseas call
IDD call from US:
Husband: Hon, musta ang tindahan?
Wife: Department store na!
Husband: Ang tuba-an?
Wife: KTV bar na!
Husband: Ang mga tri-sikad?
Wife: Taxi na!
Husband: Ang dalawa kong anak?
Wife: Lima na!

Horoscope
Sweethearts watchin' the sky...
Guy: Ano ang horoscope mo?
Girl: Anong huruskup?
Guy: Yung bang kapalaran mo, katulad ko, CANCER.
Girl: Ah, sa akin ALMURANAS!

Almusal
Donya: Bilang bagong katulong, tandaan mo na ang almusal dito ay alasais empuntu!
Maid: Walang problema donya. kung tulog pa ako sa oras na yun, mauna na kayong mag-almusal!

Nirape...
Maid: Ma'm, ni-rape ako ng magnanakaw kagabi...
Madam: Bakit di ka sumigaw?
Maid: Eh, akala ko po si Sir, pero nung makadalawa, nagduda na ako!

Mayaman - Mahirap
Juan: Pare, noong mayaman pa kami, nagkakamay kaming kumain. Ngayong mahirap na kami, nakakutsara na.
Pedro: Baligtad yata?
Juan: Mahirap kamayin ang lugaw, pare!

Pangarap
Toto: Pangarap ko, kumita ng P250,000 monthly gaya ni daddy!
Juvy: Wow! Ganyan kalaki ang kinikita ng daddy mo?
Toto: Hindi! Yan din ang pangarap niya!

Dalawang mayabang...
Usapan ng dalawang mayabang....
Tomas: Ang galing ng aso ko! Tuwing umaga, dala niya ang dyaryo sa akin.
Diego: Alam ko.
Tomas: Ha? Paano mo nalaman?
Diego: Ikinukuwento sa akin ng aso ko.

lol! lol! lol! lol!

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Re: JOKE TIME....pangpatanggal ng STRESS!

Post  be_tayko08 on Fri Mar 27, 2009 11:20 am

hearing aid

jack:pare galing talaga ng hearing aid na nabili ko ang linaw na ng pandinig ko.
paul: talaga pare magkano bili mo?
jack: Oo,nga pare kahapon lang.

drunken

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Re: JOKE TIME....pangpatanggal ng STRESS!

Post  navigator_acelador08 on Fri Mar 27, 2009 7:37 pm

2300H:Third Mate (a Filipino)is on duty at the bridge when the Captain went up:

Capt: Oh 3rd mate how is it?
3/O: The weateher is fine captain, but there are so many fishing boat around and ahead of us that is why i called you!
Capt: ah God damn third mate, you no good. you calling me becoz this god damn so many fishing boats. Ah, i don`t like you, you no good.
3/O: when in doubt it is a rule to call the master. If you no like me, you go home Captain.

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Re: JOKE TIME....pangpatanggal ng STRESS!

Post  michaeljohnesplago08 on Sat Mar 28, 2009 7:35 am

wahahha walang pinagbago asi!!! corny pero nakakatawa!

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Re: JOKE TIME....pangpatanggal ng STRESS!

Post  navigator_acelador08 on Fri Apr 17, 2009 9:01 pm

corny ba? hahah

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Re: JOKE TIME....pangpatanggal ng STRESS!

Post  daNiel ma' RopET's '03 on Sun Apr 26, 2009 9:00 am

ayos lang tol nakaka kiliti na rin wahehehe

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Re: JOKE TIME....pangpatanggal ng STRESS!

Post  navigator_acelador08 on Thu May 14, 2009 2:11 pm

Eto ang dirty joke na hin di malaswa? .......





si Jaun at si pedro ay naglalakad sa kalsada.
May tumaeng aso.naapakan ni juan ung tae. cherry






H cherry

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Re: JOKE TIME....pangpatanggal ng STRESS!

Post  Cj BuGaYoNg 2005 on Thu May 14, 2009 2:45 pm

starboard section kb? hehehehehe

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Re: JOKE TIME....pangpatanggal ng STRESS!

Post  navigator_acelador08 on Thu May 14, 2009 2:58 pm

sir starboard side ung room namin.. hehe.
may sexy joke pa ako.. Very Happy

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Re: JOKE TIME....pangpatanggal ng STRESS!

Post  Cj BuGaYoNg 2005 on Thu May 14, 2009 3:05 pm

cge banat,, hehehe

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Re: JOKE TIME....pangpatanggal ng STRESS!

Post  daNiel ma' RopET's '03 on Fri May 15, 2009 10:28 pm

asan ang punchline dun?

dahan dahan lang sa pag punch baka may tamaan kayo... pig

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Re: JOKE TIME....pangpatanggal ng STRESS!

Post  Cj BuGaYoNg 2005 on Sat May 16, 2009 1:50 am

bka nkalimutan sir. or iyon ung joke nya

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Re: JOKE TIME....pangpatanggal ng STRESS!

Post  daNiel ma' RopET's '03 on Tue Jun 02, 2009 12:02 pm

wahahaha

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Re: JOKE TIME....pangpatanggal ng STRESS!

Post  navigator_acelador08 on Tue Jul 07, 2009 2:59 pm

daNiel ma' RopET's '03 wrote:asan ang punchline dun?

dahan dahan lang sa pag punch baka may tamaan kayo... pig


sir sexy joke...inabangan nyo ba?...

eto na...

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Re: JOKE TIME....pangpatanggal ng STRESS!

Post  navigator_acelador08 on Tue Jul 07, 2009 3:00 pm

eto n yung sexy joke..

minasan nasa bahay ako..

nakadungaw ako sa bintana..

dumaan yung kapitbahay ko..
hhhhaaaaneeep....
ang sexy nya. Twisted Evil maglalaway ka sa kasexsihan!

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Pedro VS MILF

Post  paez08 on Fri Jul 10, 2009 7:55 pm

PEDRO in war with MILF

Pedro: Surender na kayo

MILF: Surender lng kmi kng ma-spell mo ang ceasefire!

Pedro: Tuloy ang gera. patayin sila. padalhan ko kayo ng chrysanthemum sa inyong libing.

MILF: spell crysanthemum?!!

Pedro: pakyu! sabi ko rose! bingi! Patay kng patay.


lol! lol! lol!

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Re: JOKE TIME....pangpatanggal ng STRESS!

Post  navigator_acelador08 on Sat Jul 18, 2009 4:39 pm

one day...


sa makati...
may dalawang magkumpare:
LUNCTYM:
VENUE: Mang Kanor's 2ro-2ro
Ang Kaganapan:
Pare 1: (umorder ng Sinigang na hipon)
Pare 2: pa-order po ng tatlong kanin, ulam tortang talong
...habang kumakain ang mag-kumpare::]

Pare 1: (biglang naghubad)
Pare 2: Dre bat ka ng-huhubad? mainit ba?
Pare 1: Hindi dre, sandali lang sisisirin ko lang yung lamn ng sinigang ko, wala kasi yung mga hipon eh! cheers cheers bounce lol!

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Joke ni Batman..

Post  alvinvicher_05 on Mon Jul 20, 2009 9:35 am

Batman: Darling tayo'y may lakad mamaya, susunduin na laang kita. Kapag ako'y bumusina lumabas ka na.

Asawa: Ok Hon! Ano bang dala mong sasakyan? Kotse?
Batman: Hinde.

Asawa: Motor?
Batman: Hinde rin.

Asawa: Ah bka Van?
Batman: Ay mas lalong hindi rin..

Asawa: Eh ano bang dala mo?
Batman: Eh di Busina....


Tawa nman kau jan..hehe

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Re: JOKE TIME....pangpatanggal ng STRESS!

Post  kid_asuncion03 on Tue Jul 28, 2009 4:17 am

anak: tay paano ako magsasaing walang bigas?
tatay: (lasing) matuto kang mag saing ng walang bigas!!!!
anak:(oras ng kainan) tay! kain na!!!!!
tatay:(nagtataka) asan ang kanin?
anak: (galit)tay matuto kang kumain ng walang kanin..

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Re: JOKE TIME....pangpatanggal ng STRESS!

Post  pulgan05 on Tue Jul 28, 2009 4:18 pm

bugs port un..hndi starboard...port as in P-O-R-t port chant port..corny corny corny...

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joke time

Post  sayaman08 on Thu Jul 30, 2009 12:31 pm

HAIRY

Minsang nagkasabay sa bus stop ang isang kapampangan at isang american lady sa Chicago (windy city). Habang nakatayo silang dalawa, biglang humangin ng napakalakas at tumaas ang palda ng 'kana' na wala palang panty. Dahil sa ayaw ng pinoy na mapahiya ang 'kana' sinabi na lang n'ya na, "it's hairy (airy pala ang ibig sabihin) isn't it?" Sagot ng napahiyang 'kana', "Bastard! What do you expect to see, feathers?" lol! lol!

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Re: JOKE TIME....pangpatanggal ng STRESS!

Post  sayaman08 on Thu Jul 30, 2009 12:35 pm

NO ID NO ENTRY

bakit ang sign na: NO ID ENTRY NO ENTRY na malimit natin nakikita sa mga school ay hindi tinitagalog? Answer: Kasi pag tinagalog yan: WALA ID WALA PASOK...........
NGEEeeeekkkk

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Re: JOKE TIME....pangpatanggal ng STRESS!

Post  navigator_acelador08 on Thu Jul 30, 2009 12:43 pm

alien The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."

So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."

The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough."

Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."



What causes people to have arthritis?A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, father, what causes arthritis?"

"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man."

"Well I'll be." the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long did you have arthritis?"

"I don't have it father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

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the Beer Prayer

Post  navigator_acelador08 on Thu Jul 30, 2009 12:44 pm

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hollowed be thy drink.
I will be drunk,
At home as in the travern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangerovers.
For thine is the beer. he bitter and The lager
Forever and ever,
Barmen.

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Wanna Bet?

Post  navigator_acelador08 on Thu Jul 30, 2009 12:49 pm

A man walks into a bar, and as he makes his way to the counter, he stops and talks to everyone in the bar. As he finishes with each group of people, they all get up and leave and go stand outside the window, looking in. Finally, the bar is empty except for this guy and the bartender. The man walks up to the counter, and says to the bartender, "I bet you $1,000 that I can spray beer from my mouth into a shot glass from thirty feet away, and not get any outside the glass."

The bartender thinks that this guy is a nutcase, but he wants his $1,000, so he agrees. The bartender gets out a shot glass, paces off thirty feet, and the contest begins. The man sprays beer all over the bar. He doesn't even touch the shot glass. When he finishes, the bartender looks at him and says, "Well, I guess you owe me $1,000, huh?"

The man answers, "Yeah, but I bet all of those people outside the window $500 a piece that I could come in here and spray beer all over the bar."
lol!

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Re: JOKE TIME....pangpatanggal ng STRESS!

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